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NVSQVAM: (Nowhere), by Ann Sterzinger
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Lester Reichartsen gave up his punk rock dreams when his girlfriend accidentally-on-purpose got pregnant: unless you've got a trust fund it's hard to be free and be a good father. For eight long years he tried to pretend he was happy, burying himself in the past as he sought a career as a scholar of the Greek and Latin classics. But now he's almost 40 and his own memories won't stay quiet. Desire denied is about to turn into something grisly, although he'll fight it for as long as he can... this is the grim silence of modern man.
NOTE: The footnotes in this Kindle edition are spaced throughout the text. A second edition with better footnote integration (but a higher price) will be released in the next few months by Nine Banded Books.
- Sales Rank: #794959 in eBooks
- Published on: 2014-11-23
- Released on: 2014-11-23
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
If Celine and Hamsun weren't fascists, they'd be Ann Sterzinger. --Nick Mamatas, author of SENSATION
Ann Sterzinger's writing is electric. Her 100,000-watt power singes every page of NVSQVAM (nowhere). --Frank Marcopolos, former editor of The Whirligig
Ann Sterzinger's writing is electric. Her 100,000-watt power singes every page of NVSQVAM (nowhere). --Frank Marcopolos, former editor of The Whirligig
As a comic yet poignant expression of an entire generation s angst, NVSQVAM is top-notch and an absolute necessity for your collection. --Matt Forney, author of Confessions of an Online Hustler
From the Author
What would happen if Kingsley Amis were born at the wrong time in the wrong place? Find out in this farcical tragedy that came from the porridge I call my brain.
About the Author
Ann Sterzinger is still alive.
Most helpful customer reviews
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Lucid, brilliant and very, very funny
By PJS1975
Absolutely a five-star work of fiction here. If I had a voice in the fawning, compliant corporate media, I'd advise readers everywhere to defenestrate Jonathan Frazen's "Freedom" or whatever other mass-marketed, safe, suburban faux "edgy" book they're reading right now, and snap up a copy of NVSQVAM (nowhere) instead. Not because I think all of those readers would truly enjoy what this novel has to offer, but because I secretly relish the thought of them hurting their little whitebread minds on this book's razor-sharp edges.
At the time I purchased NVSQVAM (nowhere), I had never heard of its author Ann Sterzinger. A Google search of her name led me to her blog, whose humourously/obnoxiously retaliatory (and too profane for Amazon's G-rated "Review Approval Board") title charmed the cynical, anomie-embracing part of my heart, currently comprised of four chambers, two atria, two ventricles and most of a pericardium.
"If Celine and Hamsun weren't fascists, they'd be Ann Sterzinger" says one reviewer whose quote appears on the cover. See, I don't know what that's supposed to mean. I felt that the publishers made a mistake there; they should have made a point of saying how incredibly funny this novel is, and how lucidly and tightly composed the prose is.
Because comedy is, without a doubt, the most difficult genre for any writer to work in, because it either succeeds or it fails utterly. In my experience (as a reader, not as a writer), spy thrillers, detective stories, sci-fi/fantasy &c., in all of these genres, a writer is allowed a few missteps, a few "um, ok" moments where the writing doesn't quite work, but it doesn't have to, and you keep going, because (ostensibly) more good parts await. But comedic writing HAS to be funny, or else.
Enter Lester Reichartsen, Sterzinger's protagonist, a character at once as flawed and bristlingly antisocial as he is human and accessible. How the author pulls this off is a feat in itself; Lester does what we've all been known to do during life's many trials: he succumbs to knee-jerk emotional responses, to hostility and disgust, and then draws back from the brink of his own negativity, his inner voice speaking to him in tones of chastising self-hatred, even while his mind is acknowledging the indignity and undesirability of it all. How many of us have been where Lester Reichartsen has been? We know how hard it can be to "do/think the right, socially acceptable thing" all the time, in a world that incessantly demands that we apologise for our failings in that regard while it simultaneously disenfranchises and abuses us to no end.
NVSQVAM also includes some brilliant comic set-pieces, along the lines of classic British farces (or TV's "Frasier"). Not to be missed are Lester's visit to his new psychiatrist; a family trip to visit the house of Lester's semi-estranged, obsessive father; a suburban house party where Lester deftly plays off a chance encounter with his former bandmates who kicked him out of his beloved punk band "The Incognito Mosquitoes," and who are hilariously oblivious to his true identity; and there's much more.
And these characters talk the talk. Sterzinger knows music, knows yuppies and hipsters and other cultural caricatures, and she writes dialogue like David Mamet does, only funnier; all the characters' exchanges (as well as Lester's inner-voice asides) sound like real conversations/thoughts, never contrived, with much less repetition and far more humour than Mamet. Add to that the cream-of-the-craft prose, both in physical-comedic tableaux and in conveying characters' emotions (and there's even a freaky Beowulf-inspired dream sequence). Add to that some very funny Woody-Allen-as-George-Carlin explanatory footnotes, expounding the intricacies of circa 2007 American Midwestern culture to some unknown reader of the future (an obvious parody of those "modern translation" editions of Greek and Roman classic lit).
Add it all up, and you have one of the finest, funniest, most socially relevant novels to come off the presses in decades.
One final word of warning: the ending of this novel packs a brutal gut-punch, not for the overly sensitive reader. I won't spoil it, but the huge surprise (for me) was how author handles the narrative of this tragedy just as deftly as she handles the comedy that precedes it; with just the right amount of emotion and characters displaying their natural tendencies, but without all the unnecessary protraction or excessive dwelling upon it.
Sorry, but my unfunny review cannot do justice to the humour NVSQVAM (nowhere) offers. That's why I'm encouraging my fellow readers of quality fiction to pick up a copy, and be as pleasantly surprised as I was.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Good, but flawed!
By Randall Williams
I ordered this book after reading Matt Forney's blog post recommending it. Forney is a talented writer and I usually enjoy most of the books he recommends. This book by Ann Sterzinger is a worthy effort and is basically the story of man's life unraveling due to various factors--but mainly due to his obsession with his failed dreams and unwillingness to accept the cards he's been dealt. To that end, the book does a pretty good job. Sterzinger also provides footnotes for the book, as other reviewers have mentioned, that are quite witty and give the idea that the reader will be reading the work long after the book's time period (1990's) and hence needs guidance about certain cultural references. This is a nice touch. My feeling, though, is that while this book is a worthy effort I would give it 3 and a half stars if your rating system allowed for it. Let me explain why:
The story, while interesting, strikes me in many places as implausible. One example is that Lester, the protagonist, is studying for his Ph.D. in classics. I realize that I did not write the book and that it is the author's prerogative to choose her character's field of study but there is a great incongruity, in my opinion, between the unmotivated Lester and the average classics scholar who has mastered Latin and Greek and is finishing his dissertation on "The Ass." Sterzinger portrays the character as not even being very adept in either language yet he has someone managed to finish all of his coursework except for his doctoral dissertation. I find this highly implausible given the way Stetzinger protrays the character as unmotivated and seemingly not even all that interested in studying the classics in the first place. If he had been made a cultural studies major or something a bit less rigorous, he would be more believable to the reader.
Another implausibility involves Lester seeking mental health treatment for his anxiety and depression. Sterzinger here shows a lack of research into psychiatric treatment. Lester is prescribed medications by a Ph.D., something only an MD psychiatrist could do, and there is an encounter with a foreign "doctor" (also a Ph.D. who can prescribe medications) that is meant to be funny but is a very exaggerated stereotype of the foreign doctor who can barely navigate English. I worked in the field of psychiatry and have actually met such doctors with very mangled English but they are quite rare these days. It IS true, though, that many foreign doctors do go into psychiatry because it is one of the easiest medical residencies to obtain. Whatever the author's intent, she should have checked her facts and at least learned that only an MD can prescribe psychiatric medications. The depiction of how the receptionist talks to Lester, offering him advice and spewing homilies about Jesus, is something that is NOT going to happen in a university psychiatric outpatient clinic, simple as that. It may have been used as a humorous device--on this count, it faills and rings completely false.
Another issue I had with the book was the depiction of the town in Southern Illinois, which Forney assumes in his review to be Carbondale and bases that on the fact that Sterzinger is an alumini of the University there. I also assumed it was Carbondale and I am a Chicago native who lived 31 years in Illinois and visited Carbondale many times. In the novel, much is made of the hickishness of the natives and they are all portrayed as vicious rednecks and Bible bangers. Carbondale is the sort of town that wouldn't exist without Southern Illinois University and it's school, Southern Illinois University, has always been known as a heavy party school. Unless it has changed drastically since I was last there, the town is filled with Chicagoans seeking a cheap and easy education and a good time and it is nowhere near the unsophisticated backwater that Sterzinger portrays.
The protagonist is married and has a precocious seven or eight year old son. The son seem to have an IQ of 160 or so and reads Milton for pleasure. His character is far-fetched but not impossible but what I found implausible was that he had no friends and there is never any contact with other children except for a Christmas visit to Minnesota to visit Lester's wife's parents. I don't know if the author deliberately left out the child having friends as a way to make some sort of statement but it makes her story seem all the odder. Even savants and geniuses generally have companions, particularly in a university setting where there may be many bright children of professors for the kid to hang out with and scorn.
The aforementioned visit to the wife's family in a Minneapolis suburb is also far-fetched and implausible. I won't give away what happens but it is totally preposterous.
In my view, the books tells an interesting story of a man coming apart at the seams but it suffers a few flaws and has some grossly exaggerated depictions. I still recommend the book as a decent read but the story of man imploding has been done better. I suggest the author read David Gates's JERNIGAN for an example of a 4-5 star novel about a man's unraveling.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Despondency's comedy.
By Benjamin Capps
I just finished reading the novel NVSQVAM (Nowhere) by Ann Sterzinger. An excellent nihilistic, narrative comedy (sort of) with endlessly clever intellectual witticisms and turns of phrase which are never redundant. The ending is true to the overriding sentiment of the book and I was sad to have reached the last page. Highly recommended!
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